On a cold wet December morning during lockdown 2 we got up early, excited for what the day would bring and drove all the way across the Pennines to St Helens.

Thanks to the wonderful people at British Hen Welfare Trust we were able to adopt three ex caged hens. Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe Berry huddled up together in a well ventilated cardboard box on the way home.

These birds have been kept in a cage since they were of an age to produce eggs, at least a year, they haven’t known any kindness from the humans around them and have been kept in a constant temperature with artificial lighting.

Their combs are pale and floppy, their plumage is patchy, but their eyes are bright. When we first put them in the run they just stood together, not moving at all. Absolutely everything, from the sand on the floor, to the space, the feeders, the sounds, the smells, the temperature, it’s all completely new. They have never felt anything like this in their short lives, it must have been a complete assault on their senses and they were utterly overwhelmed.

I was obviously worried about them, but my presence, as much as I want to be there for them, isn’t helpful right now. They need time and space to relax and explore in peace. Getting to know their new environment and each other is not something that can be rushed.

Creeping back for a maternal check an hour later, (with extra treats), the girls had started looking around and pecking at things (in my head it’s the equivalent of toddlers putting everything in their mouths). At dusk, they took themselves into the coop and lined up on the roost bars. (Very proud mama moment).

Mistletoe is least confident right now, with Holly and Ivy appearing to have chummed up fairly quickly, but over the next days and weeks, slowly but surely, I know that all their personalities will start to shine through.

It’s the same with all growth and development, people need to be given time and space to explore, test their own boundaries and really learn who they are. A chance to increase their personal confidence and the bravery to express their own individuality.

Little Gloria Chickenbottom has been struggling recently, we had crop issues and a potential tumour, then a severe moult. But my feisty, cheeky little girl bounced back from all of it.

This weekend she slowed down again, still eating bits, still the occasional peck at one of the newbies if they got too close, but slower nonetheless.

Princess Layer sat with her a lot, they arrived together on the fourth of May 2019, and I like to think that she was comforting her.

This morning it was clear that we needed to visit the vet, I scooped her up into the deluxe laying apartment (otherwise known as the cat carrier) and rushed her off to the vets. Unfortunately we were too late, but the vet was fairly sure that it was due to the tumour and her little body had finally just given up.

I am desperately sad, I loved that little hen, she had a fabulous character and I will miss her dreadfully.

So what has this taught me? What lesson can I take from such an awful time?

That there is an inevitability to death, and all things come to an end, it’s fine to be sad when it’s over, (indeed grief is a healthy and healing emotion) but take heart from the memories you hold and the good times that were shared.

That love cannot halt death, but it is what makes life worth living.

And whilst I am sad now, I could never wish that I hadn’t adopted her. Gloria had 19 happy months in the sun, dust bathing, digging for worms and climbing trees, she literally jumped at all a free ranging retirement had to offer for a little hen. The best way I can continue her legacy is to rescue more ex-commercial hens. I already have my name on the list to adopt two more.

Fly high sweet bird, and know that you were loved.

As winter approaches the girls slow down on the laying, it’s a combination of shorter daylight hours (in a commercial environment they keep artificial daylight on 14 hours a day throughout the year), and them conserving energy to regrow feathers during moult.

So we’ve gone from having 5 eggs per day in summer, to having only 1.

Also, that solitary egg is scrambled and fed back to the hens for added protein. Alongside the scrambled egg and layer pellets (standard chicken feed) they also get sardines and sunflower hearts (again extra protein) plus sweetcorn before bed (because they love it and I read it keeps them warm in winter).

Basically no-one keep backyard birds to save money on eggs. (I’m an accountant, my last reckoning was that each egg is costing us about £1.38).

Please remember that no-one should value your worth based on what they can get from you. You certainly shouldn’t let their opinion be the basis on which you value yourself.

So, on top of everything else she’s dealt with over the last couple of weeks Gloria is now moulting. Chickens moult in Spring and Autumn, it’s a time when they shed their feathers and grow new ones.

It’s a fairly intensive, uncomfortable process for the hens and whilst it’s happening they look really scrappy and fed up.

Moulting also takes a significant amount of energy from the bird, feathers are mostly protein so the diet has to change a little and egg production stops altogether (which is why farmers get rid of hens during moult), it’s also apparent from Glorias attitude that she is definitely not a happy chicken.

But this is when she needs the utmost care, the absolute best diet, with all her favourite extras, plus additional vitamins and minerals to make sure she grows back her feathers quickly before the weather gets really cold.

Its the same for us all, it’s when you feel at your lowest ebb (and probably think the least of yourself) that you need to give yourself the best care possible, healthy food and exercise, plenty of water plus decent sleep to help heal your body and mind.

Happy days! Gloria has been signed off by the vets as fit and healthy. A couple of weeks of worry and 3 trips to the vets, but she certainly seems on the mend.

Those long trips to the vets and administering multiple medicines was no fun for either of us, and I can attest to the fact that nor was it cheap!

Gloria’ s life has been valued a few times now. To the egg producer at 18 months of age she was worthless, a drain on their profits, to the rehoming centre she was worth a few pounds plus a donation so they can continue their great work rescuing and rehoming ex commercial hens.

To me she’s a much loved pet, and worth everything I have.

Never let someone else’s evaluation of your worth affect how you feel about yourself. They are all looking from a different perspective through a blurred lense.

The older girls tend to hang around in a trio (or perhaps triad would be a better description). They are, at best, dismissive of the two newbies, (at worst, in Gloria case, she actively goes out of her way to pull a “mean girl” routine on them).

So what do little Sweetpea and Queenie do? Well they stick together (they are after all birds of a feather). They actively search each other out, regularly playing on the perches and the henwalk, hunting for worms together and climbing trees (yes really).

Every evening we find them cuddled up together in the same nesting box, they simply love each others company.

Surround yourself with your tribe, the people you genuinely have fun with, who lift you, who build you up rather than those who bring you down. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Part of the new run that we built for the girls is the “hen-walk” a walkway between two mirrors for the girls to strut their stuff (and I can give the littlest ones some treats separately to the older girls).

An unexpected consequence is Sweetpea’s reaction to the mirrors. She is generally a very good natured little bird and rubs along nicely with the rest of the flock. However, she absolutely hates her reflection and attacks the mirror regularly, puffing up her feathers and pecking viciously at her own image.

Now I’m sure this is just a standard chicken reaction to an unfamiliar face, but it did get me thinking. How often do we treat ourselves as our worst enemy rather than our best friend? Our internal dialogue, the stories we tell ourselves are often much crueller and more hurtful than anything we would dream of saying to someone else.

So maybe today, take a look at your reflection and be kind, treat yourself as you would your best friend, you deserve it!

A worrying time recently at Cluckingham Palace, little Gloria appeared a bit under the weather again, which I initially put down to another stuck egg, so the usual spa morning ensued.

Once she’d had her bath and blow dry she was back in with the others and seemed okay. However, when I went to collect the eggs she’d laid a lash egg (not an egg at all, but a passing of infected matter down the oviduct), a clear sign that all is not well. Luckily I’d had the foresight to register with a specialist avian vet in Sheffield, so Gloria went on a little adventure down the M1 to visit the new vet.

It wasn’t a great trip for either of us, a motorway journey with a chicken in the car (albeit in a cat carrier) isn’t the easiest and at the other end Gloria was prodded and poked, much to her annoyance (She got a couple of good pecks in as retaliation). Lots of medicine and a few pounds lighter we returned home. Hopefully this will cure my little hen. The vet thinks she’s been ill and masking it for quite a long time, which had allowed the infection to really take hold.

If you’re struggling, don’t hide it, reach out to people who love you and will support you through hard times, I promise it will help, you don’t have to go it alone.

So the girls are getting used to their new deluxe accommodation, I have tried to add interest for them in the new run with tree stumps, branches, ladders, even mirrors and a “henwalk”, (as you might imagine this is a catwalk, but for hens).

It’s fascinating watching their reaction to new things, the older girls stick together and like the security of familiarity, they hang out by the old feeders and the dust bath, needing significant encouragement to investigate further.

Our youngest girl, Sweetpea is much more adventurous and with her trusty sidekick Queenie has been exploring the new perches, ladders, hen walk and mirrors with enthusiasm. She squeals with excitement when she finds strategically placed treats, but appears to be genuinely interested in her new environment for it’s variability and stimulation.

A sense of adventure and curiosity, whatever your age, should be nurtured and developed, it can lead to a wonderful journey. So take that new road, seek out a different path, see where it leads.

Our neighbours also have hens, 7 really beautiful girls, all raised together from eggs and bought at point of lay.

They live in a huge stable and free range from dawn until dusk on 5 acres of the most verdant grass I have ever seen.

They’re also a very neighbourly flock who tend to visit on a daily basis, hopping through the dividing fence. (Unfortunately they get short shrift from Princess Layer, who quickly chases them back across the boundary).

Our girls on the other hand, seem happy and content in their much smaller space, which is mainly dirt, shrubs and trees with very little grass. They never attempt return visits.

Often, even when the grass looks greener, it isn’t. You will never be content if you compare yourself with people around you, as the quote goes “comparison is the thief of joy”.

(Picture 1 is the flock next door, pictures 2 & 3 is of their daily visits).